The Field

I want to start jogging again but my knees hurt. They don't hurt all of the time but maybe 47% of the time they ache a little. I was talking to a friend tonight who is 20 years younger than me. He started running or jogging, I am not exactly sure of the difference only I'm pretty certain I've never done the former. (Except that one time when me and a buddy broke into this house in Tampa to see where they were filming a horror movie. After we were inside I saw someone at the back door with a flashlight trying to get in and we busted out of the front door running like deer from a forest fire. That time I ran for real.) Anyway, Joseph started jogging or running and he's trimmed up nicely and so I'm thinking I should do the same. Never mind that I'm 52, I can still have the lean body of a 30-year-old.

Ever since I returned from Romania I have been praying about other opportunities to serve. I want to become a missionary but probably for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes I imagine being introduced somewhere, "Dave Nix, missionary to Chiapas, Mexico, one of the most hostile regions for the gospel." Maybe there's like a "heaven receiving line" and most Christians have to wait in a queue but missionaries can casually stroll in a special door like the Hertz #1 Club or the Delta Sky Miles Medallion members. Pastors have yet another door but even they're only AAA members; missionaries have all the best perks.

Except it isn't like that. The gospel is about knowing Jesus. Really knowing Him. Serving, suffering and dying... sometimes in obscurity. God gets the glory and we passionately run after Him crying out with John the Baptist, "He must increase and I must decrease." The problem with this is that it is counter to most everything in me. Even when I think I've done something for altruistic motives I find this root of pride in me that wants just a taste a recognition. I'm convinced that followers of Christ know this better than anyone. Just a brief nod my way from the pulpit or a mention of some God-honoring deed I did all for the glory of Christ. I'll deflect the glory.... honest I will. I'll point heavenward and say with all the sincerity I can muster, "Ah, praise God, I'm just thankful He was able to use me." The only problem with this is that He knows my heart. He has said, "the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) It's like He was thinking of me when he penned those words.

Surely I would be a poor missionary. I'm fond of comfort and my knees hurt. I like having a clean private toilet, not to mention toilet paper. Nevertheless, I found a website called finishers.org. It's for older people who want to research mission opportunities maybe instead of retiring to Sarasota. I posted some information about myself there and actually started hearing from people. When I returned from Romania I received an email about an opportunity to help provide wheelchairs for the disabled in Turkey. We started corresponding. All of a sudden I had to ask myself, would I give up my business? Could I imagine selling or renting my home and leaving Trudie with friends and going to another country, another culture, to tell them about a God who loved them and a Saviour who died in their place? From whence came this little seed of desire that whispers inside me "yes, do send me Lord, I'll go"?

So, I think I better start jogging. Just in case I am subject to a more rigorous lifestyle in the future. Also, I think Spanish is a good language to learn. Chiapas, Columbia, Cuba... who knows? (I gave thought to Romanian but that language sounds so terribly difficult.) I don't know if He'll ever send me outside my neighborhood but this odd desire that I've never had before started creeping into my thinking 3 years ago and it only seems to get stronger. It feeds my zeal here also. I find I talk about Him more with neighbors, co-workers and even customers (uh-oh, big American taboo there, huh?). It's just that Jesus said, "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

I want to buy that field.