What Not to do Should You Become Depressed

I heard from a friend tonight. He told me his parents are separated and may be getting a divorce. I've been through divorce and I remember the twisted gut pain of the moment. It wrenched anew each morning when the fog of sleep lifted and I became conscious of the reality that something was moving interminably toward a conclusion I couldn't control. I had been so used to fudging for just a wee bit more time to get all the pieces of any problem in just the right orientation so I could pull off a splendid resolution. Or, at least procrastinate long enough for another crisis to take center stage. Finally my marriage ended; I couldn't save it. The time for saving it had past. I was probably at work or watching T.V. and it slipped by unnoticed like homely girl in the hallway at school. I remember the warning signs. I remember her telling me what bothered her and when. I think I tried to manage the problems like a homework assignment.

So now on Friday nights I sit in my favorite chair and rub my devoted dog's head. I waste time on Facebook and hear the echos of well-meaning friends saying, "everyone is meant for someone" and "you just haven't met the right woman yet". Oh yes, then there's the ever helpful, "I have someone I'd like you to meet." Right now I am certain that I lack the strength to carry all of this baggage into one more relationship.

I smile and remember that I really am just a mist. I am here for just a brief moment and then I'm gone. All these words I write will be forgotten, every song I've labored over will be remembered by no one. My loves and losses at first may be remembered by some but then they will all slip into the more distant past where all is finally forgotten. Depressing.

So I click over to espn.com and see what the prognosticators say about tomorrow's upcoming college football games. My laptop has become my T.V. I can waste time very effectively surfing the internet. I need to pick up a book and read. I need to study for an upcoming class. At the very least I could get up and file the papers that are cluttering my desk. Yet all this would take energy I cannot muster at the moment. Besides, I'd have to move my dog off my lap and she seems quite comfortable.

I feel like we were made for more. God has set eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Uh oh. Maybe it's best not to quote Ecclesiastes - especially if I am feeling a bit down. One look into those 12 chapters again and depression is a certainty. Like a driver with his neck craned to see a traffic accident he really doesn't wish to see, I grab my Bible and look into the Old Testament book...